When was the last time you received a compliment? How do you go about accepting compliments?
If you are now thinking of all the compliments you have received over the last few days and feeling great, well done!†
But I suspect most of you will be racking your brains, finding it hard to think of something….would I be right?
Being able to give and accept compliments is a key part of building your confidence.
So really think about it again, think about a time when somebody complimented you, whether it be on your appearance or style (your hair looks great, I love the colour of your shirt), something you have done well (that report was great, well done, you played a mean game of tennis there!) or just simply on you (you are so kind, thanks for helping me out).
Accepting Compliments: How do you respond to compliments?
There tends to be four responses:
Minimize it: “Oh, it was nothing, anyone could have done it
Argue with it: No I don’t, I look terrible, the report had quite a lot of mistakes, and it rambled on.
Feel awkward, uncomfortable and at a loss for words.
Accept it graciously!
Which do you do? If it isn’t number four, you need to work on that………..
When someone pays you a compliment, they mean it. When you dismiss it, or disagree, you are basically saying they are either lying, or wrong. Not very nice! If you feel uncomfortable, they tend to get embarrassed too. Now I’m not trying to make you feel bad here, when your confidence is low, it is a natural reaction to avoid or ignore compliments.
So what can we do about it?
Well practice! When someone pays you a compliment, simply say thank-you. Nothing else, not thank-you but……I’m not, it’s not, whatever! Just thank-you, whether you agree or not. And smile!
Remember you are worthy of every compliment you are paid, and more. Start writing a list of all the compliments you receive, no matter how small, and you will become more used to receiving praise. Look at your list of compliments regularly and realize how much others really do think of you.†
Another good way to learn to accept compliments is to give more. When you give someone a compliment and they accept it, it is a good feeling. Notice how other people respond. You will find that confident people accept them graciously, while those with low confidence follow one of the other three reactions. Make sure you mean the compliment, don’t say something just for the sake of giving a compliment, but do actively look for things to make complementary comments about.†
When you give compliments, you are also looking at positives generally, so your whole outlook improves and more positivity is attracted into your life.
Give yourself compliments! When you do something well, are happy with something, or just generally feel good, compliment yourself. “Well done Kate, you did a great job there!í You don’t have to do something perfectly to get a compliment, just to the best of your ability. It doesn’t matter if you got the lowest mark on a test, if you put your all into studying and did your absolute best, you deserve a compliment.
So take action, write a list of all the compliments you have ever received and feel great.
And to start you off, I want to tell you what a wonderful, unique person you are. I am very impressed the work you are doing to improve your confidence and know you have a lot of talents.
It is great you are on the road to developing much higher confidence and you should feel good about it!