ARGH If one more person tells me I’m their inspiration I may just lose it. I can’t explain why this is so hard for me to take but really I feel like everyone has to look inside themselves to find their true inspiration. Since starting this weight loss journey I have had some major ups and downs and not just on the scale. In all of them I found the only person I could truly and wholly look up to and at for inspiration besides myself was God. I had to trust that he led my surgeons to me through my mom for a reason. I had to trust that he would help me make the best decision for me and my family. So far I’ve been trusting and getting what I want out of this changed life.
So when someone tells me I’m an inspiration to them I get frustrated. I’m not doing anything special. I’m following the path that God led me to. Why do I say God led me there? For 30 some years I heard my grandmother tell me that I had such a beautiful face and if I could just lose some weight I’d be stunning. For 3 some years I thought I couldn’t be beautiful because of my weight. Well guess what I was a beautiful person. I may not have been society’s version of beautiful but I was my version. It just so happens that the same week I made this choice is the same week my grandmother passed away. My way of thinking that God just let me be free to be the beautiful person I am.
With the changes in our house/my diet, I am now down 110 pounds. Yep thats a lot but there’s still a ways to go. For the first time in our relationship, I weigh less than Steve does and that’s a big achievement on my part.
But am I an inspiration? Nope. I’m just me and doing what’s best for me in this life.
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Oh no!!!! I just posted on your fb that you were my inspiration! =) But, not about the weight loss, in case that helps! But, you are doing fabulous and I’m proud of you! Love ya!