Wednesday, July 09, 2008
Ever wonder?
So Steve has the baby for a few minutes and Charlie is hiding in the top to his toy box. That means a few minutes to catch on some online stuff. I know I’m still a little hormonal from having Rachael but I got a question. Do you ever wonder why you can’t seem to let go of people in your life? I have a lady I nannied for just out of high school that for the longest time we kept in touch. Her son was our ring bearer and we stayed in touch for a year or two after that. Every year without fail I send her Christmas cards and call B on his birthday but nothing in return. A few nights ago we ran into her in a restraunt an of course it was “oh we have to get together more often. I can’t believe we haven’t seen you guys.” And then nothing. On the same note, I’m rather hurt by some online friends of ours. Mind you we’ve “known” these people for 8 years now. Yep all the way back to when we were planning our weddings. That’s how we meet. While I’ve tried to stay intouch and keep them updated on lives contact as slowly dwindled. I posted about Rachael’s birth a month ago and nothing. Not even a small post from one of them saying congrats. So do you ever wonder why you can’t seem to just end the contact? Or is it just me?
Since a few people have emailed me about my post yesterday, let me clarify. As for the nursing, it was my desire to go as long as I possibly could. Most know I was devastated when we had to stop at 4 months with Charlie. So stopping at 4 weeks with Rachael has been even worse. The issues started with an over active let down. I contacted the lactation consultant (LC) and the next 2 days were better. Rach was eating on one side only at each feeding. Then the poop hit the fan again. Rachael wasn’t getting enough milk. So I tried switching sides again at each feeding so she was getting milk from both sides. Lo and behold that caused my milk to go up to high again. So back to one side only. Then she’s not getting enough milk again. Needless to say all this back and forth and trying to rememeber which side she ate on last and how often was just too much for me. So Saturday night I ran to Walmart and got formula and bottles. Yes we had some but we were in NC at the time and had nothing there. She’s doing much better and is a much happier baby now. However it’s been really hard for me because I really didn’t want to end this special time with her. I go through moments of shear happiness because she’s so much better to the moments of shear dread because I feel like I failed her. We’ll see where it goes from here.
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